Review: Dark Moonlighting by Scott Haworth

Nick Whittier, having been alive for six centuries, has had plenty of time to master three professions. In a typical week he works as a police officer, lawyer and doctor and still finds time to murder someone and drink their blood. He used to feel guilty about the killings, but now he restricts himself to only eating the worst members of society. Few people in Starside, Illinois seem to care about the untimely deaths of spam e-mailers, pushy Jehovah Witnesses and politicians. However, the barriers between Nick’s three secret lives start to crumble when a mysterious man from his past arrives in town seeking revenge. Nick must move quickly to prevent the three women in his life, and the authorities who are hunting him, from discovering his terrible secret.

Dark Moonlighting is humorous and aimed at the adult market. It pokes fun at a number of popular television shows including Law & Order, Bones and House. It also takes a more realistic and amusing approach to the vampire cliché. For example, the average human has the equivalent of five Big Gulps worth of blood in their body. Nick takes twenty minutes to kill someone and, like the vampire bat, must immediately urinate afterwards.

Source: PDF provided by author for review

Dark Moonlighting is filled with dark humor, sharp teeth, a couple of bad guys, and cliches. Nick writes his account as he’s trapped with mocking officers in jail, awaiting his trial for a murder he didn’t commit. He is also a 600 year old vampire who defies the shiny, angst-ridden vampires that swamp the market today. His face is marked from past disease, he has (often funny) secrets, and morals… somewhere. He keeps busy by flying between his three jobs of cop, doc, and lawyer. He maintains three identities and juggles trying to fool the general populace and a genius neighbor who gets too close to the truth later in the book.

His life spirals hilariously out of control after a power hungry, cheesy enemy from his past and his three sidekicks show up in town. He develops two very different love interests and manages to whack an email spammer and persistent pamphlet pusher. (Don’t lie to yourself- we all have one of “those” people in our lives we wish some 600 year old vamp’ would come and mysteriously make disappear).
 Soon all three jobs are in turmoil due to interference from his newly arrived enemies and Nick’s poor judgments. His life starts to unravel, the bodies pile up, and he has to face the reality his choices mean life and death for those he cares about.
A quirky and easy indie read.  
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Scott was born in the wagon of a traveling show. His Momma used to dance for the money they’d throw. Pappa would do whatever he could… Well, not really. That would have been a lot more interesting though. He was actually born in the suburbs of Cleveland.

After existing for several more decades, Scott graduated from The Ohio State University in 2004 with a degree in history and political science. Six months later he decided he wanted to be a writer, which made the degree largely worthless. Oops.

Scott has written many novels in genres ranging from science fiction to political satire. He tried combining the two genres once, but he didn’t think anyone would be interested in a sex scandal involving the President of Blargon 7.

When not writing, he enjoys being asleep.

He currently lives in central Ohio, or as you might know it better as, “that state I fly over on my way to a state I care about.”

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